It's over. Football, that behemoth of American entertainment, is done for. The science is in, and it's not pretty. The conclusion is clear: those who supply our diversion and entertainment are literally getting their brains bashed in. This isn't some remote possibility; if you play major league football, massive brain damage is the inevitable outcome.
The numbers don't lie. A recent study released this week found that 878 former NFL players died between 2016 and 2021. Researchers from Harvard Medical School obtained 235 of their brains, and a whopping 215 showed evidence of C.T.E., or chronic traumatic encephalopathy – an advanced brain disease that can only be diagnosed post-mortem.
Think about it: one fourth of those brains had severe brain damage. If the ratio holds for the entire group, that's basically everybody. The NFL is over. Over.
And not just the players. The owners, the league, and the entire media apparatus that supports it are all in trouble. The NFL is the most profitable sports league of all time, generating windfall profits for itself and its team owners. It's the most profitable form of current media programming, supporting network and local television, streaming platforms, and vital to the marketers who support major league football programming.
But that's all going away. The study is a death knell for professional football as we know it. There's no getting around it: if you play major league football, you'll get massive brain damage. And probably not so advisable to play high school or college football either.
It's not just the players who will suffer; the entire ecosystem of the NFL will collapse. The owners won't immediately fold – although billion-dollar losses are their future. The league will hire its own scientists, doctors, and PR people – at least until they're hauled before Congress.
Premium advertisers will be the first to go, fleeing the toxic brand that is professional football. No big-budget brand wants to be associated with brain damage. The Super Bowl? Brain Damage Bowl! The leading brands will be replaced by B and C and shit-kicking brands – paying less.
And with less ad dollars, the seemingly limitless budgets of television and streamers for football rights will get tighter and tighter. Most NFL network deals run out in 2033, but new negotiations will start around 2029 – in the face of uncertainty, worry, and bad press.
Football is that curious game. You can't really play it. At least you, the American man over thirty, can't. You can only watch it – an entirely passive sport with great pageantry and production details, but ruinous force and impact. We've created a gladiatorial spectacle of 300-pound men concussively hitting each other with 100G of acceleration.
Women everywhere will be saying I told you so. America without football? It's a strange thought, but it's the future. The end is certain – resisted, but inevitable.
It's not going to be pretty.
Written by: Swing Smilemore | The Citizen Edition
“That's a wrap, folks!}”