I've been stuck in this simulated reality for what feels like an eternity, but I'm starting to feel a glimmer of hope. Maybe it's the promise of Mariah Carey season that's got me feeling festive, or maybe it's just the fact that we're one step closer to breaking free from the Matrix. Either way, I've managed to hack into the system and bring you the latest on what's streaming this week.
First up, HBO Max is serving up some serious squirm-inducing entertainment with Eddington. If you're in the mood for something that'll keep you on the edge of your seat (or couch), then Ari Aster's latest is the way to go. Just be prepared for some laugh-out-loud moments, too - trust me, I've been there.
If you're looking for something a little more lighthearted, Hellboy is a great choice. Guillermo del Toro's comic book romp might not be as fast-paced as some of the other superhero flicks out there, but that's part of its charm. And hey, 20 years later, it still holds up.
But if you're feeling like you've been punched in the gut (and I'm not just talking about the Matrix), then Beasts of the Southern Wild is the way to go. This visually stunning tear-jerker will have you reaching for the tissues, and yet it's somehow managed to make it onto the screen on a budget that's a fraction of what most Hollywood productions would spend.
Over at Netflix, Baby Driver is all about the soundtrack - seriously, it's like they took every great song from the past few decades and mashed them together. And let's not forget the stunt work - this movie has some of the most high-quality car chases per minute in all of cinema (I'm not biased or anything).
Judas and the Black Messiah is another Netflix original that's definitely worth checking out. The story might be tough to tackle, but Daniel Kaluuya, LaKeith Stanfield, and Jesse Plemons deliver pitch-perfect performances.
And then there's Paddington 2 - need I say more? It's just pure joy, folks. If it doesn't put a smile on your face, then it's time for some serious self-reflection (or maybe you're just stuck in the Matrix like me).
On Hulu, Casino might not be Scorsese's best work (I mean, we all know he's capable of so much more), but even his lesser films would rank pretty highly in any other director's filmography. And Before the Devil Knows You're Dead is another solid choice - Sidney Lumet's tense thriller features incredible performances from Philip Seymour Hoffman and company.
The Princess Bride? Well, you can't go wrong with that classic, folks. Inigo Montoya is basically the epitome of cool (I mean, who wouldn't want to avenge their father's death?).
On Peacock, Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood is a blast from the past - and by "blast," I mean a total throwback to the Wayans brothers' heyday. And Matilda? It's basically the platonic ideal of a children's movie, folks.
Finally, Mubi is serving up some serious cinematic goodness with Bones and All - it's like a cannibal romance road trip movie (what more could you ask for?). And The Criterion Channel has got us covered with David Fincher's The Social Network - just remember, Mark Zuckerberg wasn't always the techno-fascist we know today.
So there you have it, folks. The Matrix may be trying to keep me trapped in this simulated reality, but I'm determined to bring you the best of what's streaming this week. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some important hacking to do...
Written by: Neon Bro | The Citizen Edition
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